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Card Shacks/Transcript
(Ben and Ash are playing a card game with Eric) Ben: Eric, I have ten bucks saying you're bluffing as worse as Haiti. Ash: Let's see you beat three Kings. Eric: Two pair. (Ben and Ash high five) Eric: A pair of red fives, and a pair of black fives (laugh) Ben: That is eight pots in a row, can no one be lucky? Ash: Unless, they were using magic to cheat! Eric: Shut up, It isn't cheating, it's focus, the fact is the only time I concentrate is when I'm playing poker. It's a gift! Ash: According to my calculations, over the last 2 weeks, Eric has beaten us for approximately $13,000. Eric: Would've been 14 if you hadn't gone back to Bellwood. My wallet sure missed you. (shakes his wallet in front of the guys' face) (Ben and Ash exchange winks and smiles) Ben: Well, I wasn't in Bellwood the whole time, Eric. Eric: No? Where were you, Kalamazoo? Ben: Alabama. Eric: And what were you doing in Alabama? Ben: I witnessed a murder. (Eric is shocked) Eric: Campfire Tale?! Ben: Oh yeah... (Later that night on the castle backyard, everyone is gathered around the fire to hear Ben's story) Ben Matter: Now, it was September 9th, 2010... I was shopping around at their mall, eating pretzels, shopping my ass out at Sears and Best Buy, then.. just when I was exiting their Dilliad's, I heard something soo concerning, it made me wanna throw up! (Hears a deadly scream with gunshots) after hyperventilating for about 2 minutes, I went Four Arms and disguised myself as an intergalactic murder detective, then I saw a dead body that got shot at least 4 times in the head. I can't show the body to you becuase I don't wanna gross out the viewers. But it immediately made me wanna puke at the nearest restroom, but i needed to do something, I ran to the FBI for the killer, it turned out the murderer was a big dude in a suit and gloves, and black sunglasses, who shot the guy, Dukes for having evidence against Ross Robinson, as the mob wanted it for extortion for their right of the territory, and Dukes said over my dead body, it was up to me to identify Dukes' killer. (Scene cuts to Ben looking at the identifying slot, he sees 3 guys, 2 of them short, with glasses and gloves, but he notices the shooter of Dukes) Ben: That's him! Number 3, that's him! Agent Moore of the FBI: And you're positive it's not the others. Ben: Yeah I'm positive, number 3's the one. Agent Moore: Clear out the other 2 suspects. (2 police officers clear out the suspects, as the big man in the suit and glasses, as he looks through the glass acting like it's a mirror.) Agent Moore: The man you are looking at is John Fingers O'Neill, #1 hitman of the mob, I'm going to file the paperwork. (Moore leaves to do so, while Ben is alone in the place, he confronts the hitman, seeing if he can hear him, trying to give a little wave, but the hitman doesn't notice. While Ben gleefully laughs at him) Ben: Man, oh man, you're choking days are over! (O'Neill looks through the glass imagining it's like a mirror) Ben: You're going to jail, jerkface! Luckily there's a five inch of glass between us, not even you ca- (Ben is suddenly cut off when O'Neill chokes him breaking through the glass, then Moore comes back with the paperwork, not noticing that Ben is being choked to death) Ben Matter: (offscreen) The only thing I can think of was- Ben: (screams) Turn around! (Then the same police guards come in to save Ben from getting choked, but O'Neill ran past them, as Ben is on the ground trying to breathe, Moore helps him up) Moore: He saw you. Ben: You think? Ben Matter: O'Neill bypass the security by going over 9 security guards and a DEA dog. My life was in danger so they put me in witness protection in Deliverance, Alabama. They hooked me up with a new life and a new name. Ben: Floyd Palmer, oh no no no, I'm more like a Peter Benjamin Parker. Moore: It's taken. Ben: Wait, wait, wait, can I at least contact my grandfather, cousin or family in Bellwood? Moore: Absolutely not, they are aware you've been in the program, so they wish you luck. Ben Matter: I was scared and alone, so I did what I do whenever I’m nervous. (Scene cuts to Ben snoring over a lounge bed, daydreaming, but what he doesn't notice is that someone is opening his door, suddenly 2 shadowy hands are approaching him, then when Ben wakes up, he sees who it is and gasps) Eric: I bet it was the killer, right? Ash: Look, we don't if you wanna know this kind of stuff. Eric: sure but............ Ben Matter: It was the most horrifyingly thing, it was- Ben: Mr. Baumann, dude, what are you doing here? Mr. Baumann: (acting nice) What am I doing here? What am I doing here? (Chuckles) Well, I'll tell you what I'm doing here, you see years ago I was friends with Maxwell Tennyson, Max had a son named, Carl. Carl married a woman named Sandra. Sandra gave birth to a baby boy named Ben, whose sole purpose in his life was to make my life (revealing his anger) A LIVING HELL!!!!! (Baumann starts to approach Ben angrily) Mr. Baumann: Now you tormented me for the last 13 years, but how you manage to have me ripped out of my wonderful shop in Bellwood, and relocated to this- this- LANDFILL, BOGGLING MY MIND! What do you have to say for yourself?! Ben: Yeah, isn’t that a toupee you're wearing? Mr. Baumann: (Acts nice again) Yes, yes it is a toupee, it's apart of my new identity. (Angrily takes off his toupee) You see what you did to me now?! Now where's the bathroom? Ben: It's right through that door, it leads outside. (Baumann storms out, while Ben suddenly, he fills glee that his parents, grandfather, cousins and cousin in law are here) Ben: Hey, my family is here! (Tries to hug his mother, but she passes him) What's up? Carl: Dippled pandemonium gargoyles, Ben, what were you thinking? Ben: Um, what? Misty: The FBI hears that you're hitman was going to get to you through us, so they put us in the program, too. Ben: Oh. Ash: Look, it's not that we're mad at you, but you should've been careful back there. Gwen: Really, you're defending him when he got us into this mess? Grandpa Max: Gwen, calm down. Gwen: Oh, I'm sorry, if you're mistaken my name isn't Gwen, now, it's Big Butt Bertha from Cabin Creek. Eric: Ash, no wonder you were stubborn when you were 10, but now you act calm around your wife? Ash: Well, Misty's not the only one with temper problems. Ben Matter: Well, anyway, I did what I did to get Max on my side. Ben: Grandpa Max. Max: Big Zeke to you. Ben: Grandpa, how are you mad at me? You're always telling me to do the right thing. Max: So? You never listened to me before, why did you have to do it now? Ben: What was I supposed to do? Just let Duke's killer get away? (Ben sits on a log, Max sits by him on it, putting his hand on his shoulder) Max: I know. I know you did what you had to do. Ben: I just hope the FBI catches him before he gets to me. Max: You scared, son? Ben: Not so much now that you're here. Hey, look, want to try fishing tomorrow? Max: Oh, can't. Tomorrow I start my new job at the manure plant. Sleep tight, Floyd. Ben: Good night, Big Zeke. (Max sleeps in his cabin, while Ben gets to sleep in his cabin) Eric: Okay, while you were having your family reunion, where was the hitman? Ash: He was here in Bellwood. Hopgoblin: This getting boring, me wanna go to bed. Ben Matter: Okay... Good night everyone! (Ben walks to his bed and sleeps, the next morning. He is laying down watching TV until he sees something interesting on the news) Newscaster: In other news, we had reports that John Fingers O'Neill, the #1 hitman of the mob has been last sighted somewhere in Bellwood. (Ben is shocked and surprised) Newscaster: There are no reports of what he was doing here, nor did the FBI have any evidence of what he is up to. (Scene cuts to O'Neill in Ben's house in his kitchen, he had just recently murdered a postman for a stockpile of envelopes sent to Ben's parents' mailbox, he pours the envelopes from the bag onto a table, he picks up an envelope that Grandpa Max had gotten from his old friend in Germany prior to the events of the series) O'Neill: "Dear Max, I am Richard O'Neil. I heard your grandson Ben is turning 18, and I want to invite him too. Meet me in ze Abandon Warehouse, it is very close to Glowerhaven. Your friend, R.E. O'Neil" (O'Neill smirks and then walks to the wall with pictures of Ben and his family, he picks up one where Ben had celebrated his 18th birthday, as he smashed the glass and took out the picture, he recognizes Ben's face, with eerie music playing while O'Neill smirks evilly, we zoom into his eyes, where he daydreams about choking Ben with his bare hands) O"Neill: ummm, Local Card Tournament... Winners receive-- (gasps) $4.000?! ZE PERFECT TYME! (Evil Laugh) (Scene cuts back to Ben and Ash in Glowerhaven) Ben: I'm telling you, Ash, it's true, he was sighted in my hometown, and just recently murdered a postman! Ash: Whoa, take it easy, we were trying to make this a make-believe to beat Eric in the card game, remember? Ben: Yeah, well, everyone went to sleep, and I didn’t have time to finish the rest of the tale. Ash: We better call Agent Moore, ask him where he last spotted O'Neill! Ben: That's a great idea, I think I got his number. (Calls Moore) Moore: (voice over) This is Agent Moore of the FBI. Ben: Agent Moore, it's Ben. O'Neill has been sighted in my hometown. Moore: (voice over) Don't worry, we'll track him down as soon as possible, he'll be no match for my B70 Machiner. (Turns his phone off) (Meanwhile, O'Neill has suddenly taken a plane to Germany from Bellwood, he gets a call from his mob bosses, his #1 boss, Ross Robinson) Ross Robinson: O'Neill, where are you at? O'Neill: I got matters on my own hand. Trying to kill an 18-year old for spying on me. Ross Robinson: Damn! I told you to watch your surroundings, listen, I paid you to take the guy out so I can get that file, not chase after some 18-year old, we don't deal to kids or teens! O'Neill: This teen costed me the million you offered me. Ross Robinson (sneers): I have an inside man, he says that little town, Glowerhaven is like a great big chicken just, waiting to get f**ked. (Cuts to Green Face in his beach house, where he is in a hot tub with 2 hookers) Green Face: -listen carefully, I'm going to take the same plane, you're going to, I wanna find the runt who costed me the hit. You want the kid? Make it look like an accident. That's your new million. Deal? O'Neill: (voice over) Deal. (Green Face gets out of his hot tub, and motions for his men to get him some clothes) (Cuts back to Agent Moore talking to Ben and the gang) Moore: We couldn't find O'Neill, he bypassed the security at the airport, by stealing a private jet, we found evidence, he wanted to send you a message. (Hands Ben something, which is the same picture O'Neill looked at) Ben: My 18th birthday picture. Max: Where is he coming now? Moore: We heard radio contact, saying that the mob is working with O'Neill, apparently, you have to stay in Glowerhaven with the rest of your friends and family. We'll protect you, I have ??? men ready. Ben: Thanks. Ash: We'll take care of that. (While Moore readies his men, Ben thinks of something, and then he looks at Ash again by winking at each other again) Ben: Guys, we have a plan! (Cuts to Robinson, where Ben and Ash ready the plan) Ben: So first things, first. When I shout family, you come out, and we dogpile him. Max: Let's hope this plan works. You heard Ben, move to your hiding places. (Everyone goes splits up) Ash: Ben, can you sit on that log and wait? Ben: Sure, this battle will be like the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. (Ben goes ahead and sits on the log, while Ash hides with the others) (Music plays the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, as everyone is preparing, Grandpa Max hides in a crate, Gwen inside a silo, Ash on the roof, Misty behind the Warehouse, Eric inside a trash bin, Kyra under the water, Brock inside a truck, May behind the sign, Tracey under the bridge, Max with May behind the sign, Dawn under the dock, Cilan in the plane, Iris under the barrels, Serena inside a shop , Bonnie in the bathroom, Clement under the cashier desk, Lillie behind the plane, Lana in the bunker, Mallow behind the statue, Kiawe under the floors, Sophocles in the basement and Hopgoblin under Ash's hat, and Ben sits down on the log until he finally hears O'Neill's footsteps, Ben gets up and confronts him in a western showdown style) O'Neill: If I were you, I would run. Ben: If you were me, you would be good looking. (whistles) You're quite sexy for a villian... O'Neill: You know I usually detach myself from my duties, but I'm really going to enjoy squeezing the life out of you. Ben: "I'm really going to enjoy squeezing the life out of you", you wanna I'm not scared of you, because I have the one thing that you don't....family. O'Neill: (takes off his sunglasses) What the hell are you talking about, I got a sister from New Jersey, and a cousin in Arizona! Ben: I'm talking about family! (Slaps the Omnitrix and turns into Bigchill) (Suddenly everyone pops out of their hiding places, surround O'Neill, as Ben as Big Chill crosses his arms ready to face O'Neill, who tries to strangle him again, but he freezes him) Max: You're criminal days are over! (Moore suddenly appears, pointing O'Neill at gunpoint) Moore: Ben, Ash, are you alright? Ben as Big Chill: It's okay, Agent Moore, we finally got him cornered. Ash: You can take him away, Agent Moore. Moore: Of course....you know did anyone tell you that athe FBI had an inside source from the mob? Ben as Big Chill: What are you saying? O'Neill: NO! Don't tell that tight-ass anything! (the agents of J.A.D.E) Moore: Well, the goddamn people at the FBI have been corrupting with the governments. Which in turn caused Trump to win the 2016 presidential election. (To viewers) No offense, Trump is an idiot. Just keep watching, where was I, oh! When Trump took office, he kicked our asses even more with the immigration policies and that wall in Mexico. My real name is Vincent Currior, I'm the inside man of Ross "Green Face" Robinson! (Suddenly, Moore shoots O'Neil 9 times, with Robinson watching) Big Chill: Wait a minute, the gunshots, I heard gunshots when- O'Neill was just trying to strangle the civilian and you were the one that shot him! Vincent Currior: Yes, it was. You see O'Neil was looking for a challenge on the Local Card Tournament, and I decided to take his place, I challenge you and Ash for a local card challenge, and I'll need a volunteer, Eric? Eric (shocked for a moment, when suddenly): Deal! Everyone (in unison): WHAT! Big Chill: Hey! You can't just partner with the enemy! Ash: Yeah, you're supposed to be Ben's descendent, what kind of a hero are you? Eric: Sorry, guys, I have a competitive nature in my blood, and if there's a local card tournament, then I need to put my focus. Ash: Ben, how are we going to beat them both? Big Chill (whispers): Eric cheats with magic, that's why he's competitive. Kyra (whispers): I can help you two, come here (Ash and Big Chill walk to her, as she whispers something in their ears, and they both smile) Ash: Okay. Big Chill: We accept your challenge, when is the tournament? Vincent Currior: The Local Card Tournament is on Thursday, at The Glowerhaven Convention Center, the time is 9:15pm! Eric: Well, we can't rest! Let's get ready for this! (Eric and Ben are training for the event, parodying Rocky's training scene, Ben uses his aliens to train on card games, known as the Maso Tracks) (While Ash is training with Pikachu, Legarock, and his other Pokemon on card training) (Eric uses his spellbinding skills which is mind reading, to see which cards he see, which is how he cheats during his playing against Ben and Ash) (Hopgoblin and Grandpa Max do a card game with Ben and Ash on winning, and beating Currior and Eric, while Kyra helps them both on showing them how to resist Eric's training, while Lillie, Kori, Lana, Mallow, Dawn, Serena and Bonnie are cheerleading, with Gwen, May and Iris just clapping, and Brock, Cilan, Tracey, Max, Clemont and Sophocles as their water boys, with Kiawe giving Ben as Four Arms and Ash on weight lifting, and doing poses) (When the training is over, everyone cheers for Ben and Ash, while Eric is suspicious, it is now 9:00pm, and the heroes arrive at the Glowerhaven Convention Center, as Ben and Ash take their seats against their competitors, Eric and Currior) Eric: Nothing personal, guys. Ash: You know, Eric, you're name sound very like another Eric who wanted Ariel for lust. Ben: And someone who Robin would cheat out of for glory. Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, the card game has begun.... Grandpa Max: Remember you're training, you two, good luck out there, especially you, Ben. Ben: No problem, let's win, Ash. Ash: Let's win is my middle name. (My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark by Fall Out Boy play while the card game consists of about 37 Challenges, each challenger is defeated every time, until the next one emerges to the next round, and 2 teams would emerge in the next round) (The first round is with 74 teams, Ben and Ash, and Eric and Currrior, who both defeated their competitors) (The second round is 72 teams, Ben and Ash defeat their next competitors, while Eric and Currior defeat their competitors) (The third round is 70 teams, once again, both teams defeat their competitors) (The fourth round is 68 teams, the 2 teams again beat their competitors) (The fifth round is 66 teams, the competitors are beaten by their 2 team competitors) (The sixth round is 64 teams, the 2 teams have defeated their opponents) (The seventh round is 62 teams, the 2 teams win against their competitors) (The eighth round is 60 teams, the 2 teams succeed again) (The ninth round is 58 teams, the 2 teams win again!) (The tenth round is 56 teams, the 2 teams did it again!) (The eleventh round is 54 teams, the 2 teams have defeated their opponents!) (The twelfth round is 52 teams, the 2 teams have beaten their opponents again) (The thirteenth round is 50 teams, the 2 teams have won again) (The fourteenth round is 48 teams, the 2 teams succeed again) (The fifteenth round is 46 teams, the 2 teams beat their opponents again) (The sixteenth round is 44 teams, the 2 teams advanced against their opponents again) (The seventeenth round is 42 teams, both teams did it again!) (The eighteenth round is 40 teams, both teams have beaten their opponents again) (The nineteenth round is 38 teams, both teams won again) (The twentieth round is 36 teams, both teams advance to the next round) (The twenty-first round is 34 teams, both teams have won again) (The twenty-second round is 32 teams, Ben and Ash did it again, as well as Eric and Currior) (The twenty-third round is 30 teams, Ben and Ash reach to the next round, as well as Eric and Currior) (The twenty-fourth round is 28 teams, Ben and Ash advance to the next round, as well as Eric and Currior) (The twenty-fifth round is 26 teams, Ben and Ash win again against their competitors, so do Eric and Currior) (The twenty-sixth round is 24 teams, Ben and Ash succeed again, as well as Eric and Currior) (The twenty-seventh round is 22 teams, Ben and Ash are done with their competitors, as well as Eric and Currior's) (The twenty-eighth round is 20 teams, Ben and Ash have completed their challenge, as well as Eric and Currior) (The twenty-ninth round is 18 teams, Ben and Ash have advanced to the next round, as well as Eric and Currior) (The thirtieth round is 16 teams, Ben and Ash have completed their challenge, as well as Eric and Currior) (The thirty-first round is 14 teams, Ben and Ash did it again, so did Eric and Currior) (The thirty-second round is 12 teams, Ben and Ash have advanced to the next round, so did Eric and Currior) (The thirty-third round is 10 teams, (The thirty-fourth round is 8 teams, (The thirty-fifth round is 6 teams, (The thirty-sixth round is 4 teams, Ben and Ash are competing against their opponents, who are Owen and Noah from Total Drama, and Eric and Currior are competing against their opponents) Owen: Hey, man, I know we're competing against you guys, but what time is it? Ben: Seeing as it's 37 challenges, I think the competition runs for about 48 hours Noah: 48 hours. Ash: Yeah, the time is 6:48 Noah: Okay, we're tired, I got a study group to do, and Owen and me also need to be ready for what other reality shows we need to compete in. Owen: Yeah, we'll just forfeit. And we're going to eat at King's Diner, we're having double date with our fellow Ridonculous Race co-stars, the Sister. (Whispers to Ben) Noah dreams about Emma. Noah (irrated): And I'm standing right here. (But stands lovesick) Ben: OK, good game (shakes hands with Noah) Noah (snaps out of it for a second): Yeah, Good luck. Ash: Yeah, you have a good one. (Also shakes hands with Owen) Owen (excited, shaking both Ben and Ash's hands): Oh man, oh man, oh man! I was just excited meeting my 2 favorite superheroes! Woohoo! We're rooting for you! (Noah does a crazy symbol to Ben and Ash to tell them how crazy Owen is, as they both leave) Announcer: Ben Tennyson and Ash Ketchum advance to the final round. (Eric easily uses magic to cheat, helping Currior win the round against their opponents) *Announcer: Eric the Spellbinder and Vincent Currior also advance to the final round. This is a final match between 2 teams, who will win? Who will win, Who will take home the prize? Let's find out soon. (Ben and Ash take their seats against Eric and Currior) Eric: Whatever Kyra told you to resist my cheating, it won't work. Ben (smirks): Will it? Ash (smirks): We've been training for awhile now, I'd hate for you to be disqualified if you were cheating with magic, or playing with a corrupt FBI agent, who happens to be secretly working for the mob? Vincent Currior: Enough talk, let's finish this, once and for all! (after 15 minutes of hard challenging, Ben and Ash takes out a 7 and 7, and wins) Annoucner: Ladies, and Gentleman! Team Omnitrix has officially won the tournament!! Ben: that was a good game! Eric: Why thank you Ben! Curriour: ENOUGH! YOU FOOLS HAVE BEAT ME FOR THE LAST TIME! NOT PAY THE CONSQUENCES! ERIC, GET THESE PUNY FOOLS!! (Eric stands there, doing nothing) Currior: I SAID GET THEM! Eric: No. Currior: No? Eric: No! You need to know, that tournaments are not that competitive, even though your friends are on a different team, you still need to be respectful! Therefor, I'm with Team Omnitrix! Game over, here's a gift for you playing. Currior: Oh really? (Opens the box, only for it to end up exploding on his face, causing his face to turn black in cartoon fashion) (Audience laughs) NOTE: The blackface scene was replaced by Eric offering Currior a handshake on the game, only for Currior to joy buzzed by Eric on Toon Disney, while it remained on DVD or video) Currior: You've pissed me off for the last time! (Arms a gun at the team) Eric: Oh no you don't! (whistles) (at the cue of the whistle, Serrifias, the Dragon queen enters the hall) Serrifias: ALL RIGHT? WHATS GOING ON HERE? (Sees Currior with the team at gunpoint) ALRIGHT VINCENT, DROP THAT GUN NOW! Currior: I'm not taking orders from a elder dragon b**ch! (Everyone gasps, Serrifias is insulted and becomes angry) Vincent: Perhaps I'll kill you instead (aims gun at Serrifias) (Suddenly, Serrifas blows fire at him, causing him to melt to a statue, shocking Ross "Green Face" Robinson, who was present watching the game, also shocked) Ross Robinson (scared): Oh my god, what's happened to you! I never meant for that to happen! (turns angry and aims double guns at the team and Serrifias) You guys are about to pay your debt! (Ben slaps the Omnitrix and turns into Heatblast, while Ash and Eric follow him to catch Robinson and knocked him out, only for him to wake up and hold Serrifias and the gang at gunpoint! Eric: Well, what are we doing? Come on? (Slaps omnitrix and turns into Upgrade) HeatBen: Do Something! EricGrade: I can't! My magic is not working! Serrifias: Back up, I'll handle this (glares at Eric) HeatBen: Goddamn it Serrifias, why do you have to be that harsh? More to come... Category:Transcripts